As I considered my thoughts for writing this piece I read many articles on style and ethics in the mountains and I reached out to friends and mentors for their thoughts. I think that the great writer and alpinist, and my friend, Kelly Cordes summarized it very well:

“It’s wild and weird, and yet somewhat similar to many things with humans and human nature, factoring in modern connectivity and elements of commodification of niche activities that nobody used to care about, alongside traits that have been beside us since we left our caves in search of fire. I’m a fan of our inherent drive and competitiveness — it can lead to beautiful things — but there’s also a fine line between those traits manifesting in a healthy and inspiring way, and letting our egos run away with themselves. I’ve long viewed many of these activities along a continuum of moving in the mountains. In that regard, trail running into scrambling into climbing isn’t so different from alpinism. The things people do in these places can be incredibly inspiring. And yet, sometimes I wonder how our values can be so different. I’ve long thought that the way we treat the things we profess to love is an expression of who we are. In that regard, it doesn’t matter how meaningless a silly run or climb or ski or whatever is — and, sure, it’s all silly in the grand scheme — but how we do these things can be a reflection of our deeper selves. It may sound lofty, but to me it’s true.”

It snuck up on me. Amidst the challenges of re-entry, jet lag driven sleep challenges, an endless inbox of work that needed addressed, a backlog of patients, a three week absence from family responsibility, and a fairly fatigued physical state, the sadness crept in. At first I thought it might be just fatigue, but as the weeks passed I found that even after a long, deep sleep, that the motivation to get out of bed barely registered. A general malaise shadows the days. It is hard to smile or laugh, and isolation is my preferred companion. It is hard to admit, but I am sad.

Weeks later, I continue to process and mediate on my experience in Bhutan. Many profound and truly life changing lessons are being understood and applied. Bhutan is a small country and unique in so many positive ways. Despite its size it is a bold and stronger leader in the climate space. As the Chairman often says it punches above its weight. My soul feels very content in Bhutan, the pressure of capitalism seems less there and the elevating of joy and contentment is very inspiring to me. Some lessons will go unsaid, as they are deeply personal and many others will take time to articulate and share. I am convinced that my time there spent with humans I consider close friends or even chosen family, altered the course of my life and has the potential to continue to do so. Though, what it requires of me now is action. So many times we were asked “why are you here” or “what can you do”. I mentioned in a previous post that I felt the actions I take can in so many ways offset the impact of my travel across the world and as I wrap up my writings for now I want to share a list of what I am planning on doing, and ask for your help for what more you think I should do

All of the gear I used during the Snowman Race 2024. Included is weight breakdown and description of the Gear.

I woke on the 5th day feeling a mix of excitement and sadness. The excitement stemmed from the knowledge that at the end of the day’s stage I would be arriving at the finish area and back in the arms of my partner Tanae. The sadness was brought on by the knowledge that I would be leaving these beautiful high mountains and returning to the hectic demands of life in the modern world. There is a wonderful simplicity that comes with extended trips in the mountains. Life is distilled to the simple tasks of sleep, eat, movement, eat, sleep. Mix in some wonderful company of friends, who felt more like family, and that is a rhythm that I find very satisfying. I crawled out of my sleeping awash with these mixed emotions and went to the task that was feeling very routine. Put on the running kit, pack the running vest, and head out to get breakfast.