A Leaf Letting Go
Lessons from a tree about decisions
Ahead of me, just to the right of the trail was an aspen. It was a Monday, near the end of September and the tree caught my attention. I slowed to walk, and then paused next to the tree. One leaf remained, yellowed, and as I stood there a small gust of wind took hold of the leaf and it left the tree, or maybe the tree let go. I am not really sure which, but what I am sure of is in that moment I felt a clarity that I had been struggling with for months. It was time to let go.
I watched the leaf drift to the ground, and then I returned to running up the trail. My mind was flooded with emotion as the decision solidified. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I ran and ever so slowly a smile emerged. The situation I had been dealing with had been building for years, but the previous 6 months it had been an onslaught of difficulty slowly building to a crescendo that I was, at the moment, barely surviving. I had made the decision months ago to change paths in life but I had been stuck in the logistics of the change, pressure mounting. I hadn't slept the night before and one crucial decision remained. The details of the decision aren’t for the public forum, but that beautiful naked Quaking Aspen gave me the nudge and there, on that run, the final decision was made. Looking back, it was the precise moment that my life finally started a completely new course.
My life has been defined by moments that something in the wild provided an answer, or taught the lesson. Timely and powerful. Recently I have been contemplating those experiences and considering the course that I followed after their influence. A common thread that I found in those moments is they all came when the weight of the decision or situation felt nearly too much to carry, when I was seeking guidance, and when I had been moving outside. The common ingredients of vulnerability, curiosity and physical expression.
As we move through the transition of one year to the next, or more accurately as the days bring more light, it is tradition to reflect and set goals. 2025 was tough, and in October life changed. There was significant angst, sleepless nights full of worry, panic attacks and way too much doom scrolling. There were also beautiful moments, time spent with friends and famlily and lessons from nature. For me 2025 was a year of transition, and 2026 will be for growth.
I just wrapped up a ritual of intentions. 13 intentions written out, folded up and then on each of the following twelve days one was burned, letting that intention be tended for by the universe. Today, the thirteenth day, I opened and read the final intention, it is mine to tend. When I wrote it 13 days ago I didn’t know which I would end up with, and the intention I will tend to for this year is to share what I learn and feel through writing. I haven’t written here much recently. Well, that ends today. No promises for how often or how much, but I will be here tending to this intention and sharing what happens as I lean into a new chapter in life. The decision I made in October has been a wonderful gift; opportunity seems to be around every corner, joy more bountiful, and I am curious than ever about learning, personal development and finding time to purposefully listen to the world around me. I think there are a lot more lessons to be learned through vulnerability, curiosity, and physical effort. I hope you’ll join me on this path.